21 Dad Jokes About Weed

So bad and yet so good, dad jokes are a staple of dad culture.

And whether they laugh or groan, as long as you get a reaction from your bratty kids that can’t seem to lift their attention from their screens, your job here is done.

But dads, you deserve a little one-liner humor that you can enjoy away from the kids. So here are some dad jokes about weed.

Join the cannabis movement, it’s a joint effort.

Police Officer: “How high are you?”

Stoner: “No officer, it’s ‘Hi, how are you?’”

I bought some shoes from a black market drug dealer… I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Q: Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?

A: He was too far out, man!

Next time you’re in an argument, just smoke some weed, because then you’ll take the high road.

Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?

A: Double jointed.


If you smoke weed before you gamble, the stakes are even higher.


Did you hear about the guitar that got baked? It was highly strung…


Q: What do you get when you eat cannabis?

A: A pot belly.


Q: How do fish get high?

A: Seaweed.

Q: What did the Southerner say when she got skipped in the smoking circle?

A: What in rotation!?


Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?

A: Because pot holder was taken.


Wife: Want a bowl for breakfast?

Husband: Are you asking me if I want to wake-n-bake?!

Wife: Chill, I was just asking if you wanted cereal.


Q: What did the stoner farmer say to his cows?

A: 420 graze it.


I smoked weed two nights in a row… I guess you could say I’m on a roll.

Are you a drug, ‘cause I marijuana take you home with me tonight.


Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

A: Han So-High


The profits in the cannabis industry are higher than ever!


Q: What did the stoner at the party say before the cops came?

A: Let’s blow this joint!


The guys in Pineapple Express really were best buds.


Mary had a little gram, her trich’s were white as snow.

Ah, dad jokes. Whether you love em or hate em, they’re best delivered by a middle-aged dorky dad.

Are you a dorky dad that loves weed? Well, we love you. Come by Safe Accessible Solutions today and use our budtenders as willing and obligated soundboards for your latest dad jokes.

You always encourage your kids to eat their vegetables, but dad needs his greens too. Pick up some premium cannabis products today at Safe Accessible Solutions.

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